And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize