'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
