They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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