hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
