I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
