'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
