Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize