When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
