my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
