This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
