But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
