Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
