He asked to "fluff my boner.."
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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