HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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