You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
