You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
