im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize