I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
