Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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