So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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