so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Sorry about my life...
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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