Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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