I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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