I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
