i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize