Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
