My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
