Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
