Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
