After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
