I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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