if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize