In the future we'll all be gay
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
