covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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