He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
