I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
