dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
