why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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