covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
