Got a toothbrush?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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