Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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