I think i peed on brittanys purse
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
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