Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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