i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
