Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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