I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
