She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
