I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
