Midget sex pt 2 tonight
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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