I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
