somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
