I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
