I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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