i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize