You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
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