no you cant smoke seaweed
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
