no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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