either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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