I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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