I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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