I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
