I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
