I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
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