Where is the hickey?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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