But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize