Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
