Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
