that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
i out mim tonsoeep
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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