Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
