Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Randomize
