and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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