my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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