Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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