I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
