Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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