I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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