I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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