So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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