I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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